I don’t say this enough, and this is not even really “saying” so to speak, since I’m typing it instead and I’m unfortunately too chicken to say it aloud but I really am thankful, for a lot of things. It’s probably because I’m older now and I see things from a wider point of view, but with every passing year, I have to say I am very lucky and very thankful.
For one thing, I’m thankful that my mom almost randomly (im serious, I was sitting at my desk and she just suddenly gave me a stack of papers to fill out) told me to apply to Cornell and out of some miracle, I got in and I really like it here and what I’m majoring in. It wasn’t even in the list of colleges I was looking at because I didn’t think I would get in but I guess moms’ do really know best or maybe she believed in my ability and talent when I didn’t.
Speaking of what I’m majoring in, I’m thankful for that too. I come from an immigrant family, so I’m expected (and I am definitely determined to) to be more successful than my parents. But even with that in mind, I could not bring myself to study something I really didn’t like because in my eyes, it wouldn’t be worth the tuition. My mom definitely pushed pharmaceuticals for a while or maybe accounting, but definitely nothing like interior design or animation or digital media because these fields are hard to become successful in (and they no where near start with the same salaries). Yet, she ended up being the one to give me the application and she also made sure all my applications were sent in on time. So I’m thankful that in the end, my happiness is what matters, not money.
And as weird as this sounds, I’m thankful for my personality. I’m not sure if it’s just the environment I was raised in or just how I was born (probably both), but even though I’m very blunt and rash and erratic sometimes, at the core, I’m a relatively happy person. I get mad or happy easily, but I rarely ever get anxious or completely stressed out. I have never had thoughts of drinking my troubles away or smoking or - and I don’t want to be stereotypical about this, but I honestly have no experience - do drugs and other stuff people pick up to escape reality and stress. I just deal and handle it because somehow along the way, I just naturally developed confidence in myself that I am to complete things. And also, I just have this weird ability to let things go. Like after a bad grade, I’ll be disappointed for maybe one day but the next morning, everything is forgotten. Maybe it’s because my parents always worked, so I developed some kind of strength and independence from that but its not like I’m detached from them either…I have no idea, but yeah, I think I’m quite lucky to have a disposition like mine.
I have a lot more to say, but just wanted to let some thoughts out since it is the season but also it’s been on my mind for a while.